We all have a Soul Wound that we carry with us: a negative, shame-based message (read: lie) such as “I’m unwanted” “I’m unlovable” or “I’m unimportant.”
When someone treads too closely to this soul wound, our pet dragon rears its ugly head and the flames start flying. Our pet dragon is fiercely loyal and wants to keep us safe.
Our pet dragons exist to protect us from being hurt at our deepest, most precious place –our soul.
This seems pretty good at first glance, but the trouble with pet dragons guarding soul wounds is that, although they sometimes do truly protect us from danger, they tend to fall into hypersensitive, hypervigilant mode.
They start sending us false signals and raising a ruckus when there is actually nothing to fear. They become unmanageable, exhausting.
Our pet dragon has become kind of like a pet dog who is taking us for a walk and not the other way around.
We all get our baby pet dragons when we are but children ourselves because Soul Wounds are typically inflicted pretty early on. We might, however, not become aware of our pet dragon until we are adults.
The moment of realization is perhaps often in a moment of high triggeredness when we’re crazy-angry or super-sad or some other BIG emotional “outburst” that doesn’t seem to match the precipitating event in severity.
Like completely flying off the handle because your spouse came home a little bit late from work without calling, or landing yourself into a deep depression because not every single invited friend came to your party.
And we think: sheesh …
There is something bigger and deeper going on here.
Thinking back over times that (at least with retrospect) cause you to say “hmm, yeah, I totally ‘over-reacted’” — Level 10 response to a Level 2 event — is a great way to hone in on what soul wound your pet dragon is guarding.
Once you’ve got that, you can figure out what coping mechanism is embodied in your pet dragon to protect you from feeling the pain of your soul wound.
We have reasons for our Soul Wounds.
Reasons for those dragons.
When we acknowledge and name them, we can learn how to train them.
Just like with a pet dog, we must train our pet dragon(s). Otherwise, they’ll be walking us … and it won’t be through the park.
Discovering your Soul Wound and Pet Dragon are game-changing moves. Do you know yours?