Why Everyone Ought to Know About ‘Dragon Dances’

Do you know the features of Dragon Dances?

And how to get out of them?



"Dragon Dances" are the step-by-step process of loved ones distancing themselves from each other by mutually putting up unhealthy, defensive boundaries.

In Dragon Dances, your individual Pet Dragons have been triggered. A Dragon Dance is how they destructively interact with each other.

Dragon Dances are charactered by big emotional responses that don’t seem to match the severity of the event itself.

Dragon Dances entail catastrophic, rigid, black-and-white thinking.


This poem is about completely real events and emotions of a Dragon Dance.  

My husband and I were cuddling after the events relayed in this poem and after a little while I said “thank you, darling, this has been lovely… and now I need to go.  I have a poem I need to write down.”

And here you go!


He stood leaning against the wall
arms crossed as we talked
No voices raised
No eye contact either
Not a fight, no

We listened, we heard
but we didn’t agree
Point after point
my hand hugs my neck
comforting stabilization

So present, engaged
No, miles apart
He bakes the pizza
I wash the dishes
We spin in circles
Getting Nowhere

Precipitating Event
always digs up more
deeper and deeper
When does it end?

We are trying not to
but we sense it true
building trenches
against our hearts

I feel frustrated
I didn’t like this one thing
becomes I don’t like the
Whole of Your Choices
How dare you be other than
What I Want

Dinner is ready
We take our places
Next act in this play
mechanical dancing

Shoulders collapsed forward
chest caved in on my back
I’m bracing against the elephant
crushing me
Short breaths

Each lost in his thoughts
we speak not a word
Dinner in Silence
Who, us?

Newly married
deeply in love
not immune
not exempt

Only old couples who hate each other
eat dinners in silence
not us
we’re different
does it grow so early, so young
the resentment that overtakes?

The sound of my own voice
seems so loud
I finally squeak
would you like my leftover salad?

Shattered silence
something clicks
flicker of hope
eyes briefly meet

Influence received
offer accepted
sure, thanks
faint smile
Do you want to cuddle?

About the author

Laura Bennett

Laura Bennett

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