How To Celebrate Sadness

Sometimes I have a total breakdown. Here’s one of those stories:

Kyle and I had just gone to bed and told him that I was feeling really upset and would he let me talk and comfort me?

I updated him on some difficult interactions (via emails) that I was having with several people, including newly re-established contact with a long-term friend who had hurt me deeply by not attending my wedding a few months ago.

But, as always, the issue is never the issue, and something much deeper started to bubble to the surface.

 

From zero to full throttle in 10 seconds, I was sobbing “why don’t people love me?”

 

Clutching my replacement teddy bear and dowsing my pillow with tears and smearing it with prolific amounts of snot, I bawled and bawled.

I have historically had a very difficult time allowing myself to cry,  even to really feel whatsoever sad in the first place.  Especially for the past year I have been intentionally focusing on feelings of sadness whenever they remotely surface and providing my Self the space to tap into that sadness.

 

 I have been finally learning how to cry.

 

128px-Crying_is_okay_hereKyle did an amazing job of sitting in the trenches with me, and seemingly suddenly,  my body was racked with its last wail from Little Laura and I felt suffused with peace.

 

It is hard to decide which element is most fabulous about this experience:

 

  • that I allowed my Self to feel sad and cry in the first place;
  • that I have allowed Kyle to comfort me as opposed to suffering alone;
  • successfully giving Little Laura much-needed voice;
  • or that after first delving into Feelings, my Adult Brain was then free to think Thoughts about those Feelings and evaluate Truth vs. Lies.

 

And That’s Why I Celebrate Sadness.
128px-Love_you!

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Laura Bennett

Laura Bennett

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