Are You A ‘Rock’ Or A ‘Star’?

I’ve previously written on the extravert/introvert paradigm and on the possibility of understanding it somewhat differently to include “Power-Connectors”. My point in those posts was that, in practical terms, a healthy & balanced extravert and a healthy & balanced introvert will lead lives that actually have more in common than different when it comes to their energy needs.

However, the fact still remains that no matter how healthy & balanced you are, you’re still going to be tipped more-so on one side of the scale than the other. And –perhaps particularly if we think of extraversion/introversion as having less to do with how we are energized and more to do with how we interact with our surroundings, including how we process information— being an extravert vs. an introvert is still an important bit of information to know about yourself.

I would like to propose some new vocabulary: Rocks and Stars.

I suggest that Rocks are the introverts and Stars are the extraverts. Again, this is all from a perspective that has less to do with how much ‘people time’ Rocks vs. Stars need and, thus, how they replenish their energy. Rather, this is about how Rocks and Stars experience the world differently. Here are a few anecdotal thoughts on what makes a Rock as opposed to a Star:


Stars are hopeful,
cheery, and childlike.


Stars tend to be sparkly, flit around a lot, dream big, have their heads in the clouds, and shine all the more brightly when it’s really dark. Stars are warm, welcoming, energetic. Stars are inspirational and seem to shine brighter when they’re in a group of other Stars.


Stars have a way about them
that makes them uniquely gifted
for helping others feel special
and enjoy a sense of belonging.


Stars aren’t dumb by any means, but in some regards their thoughts are simple. Simple and sweet. They might have great ideas, but tend not to have a clue how to actually put them into action. They might change their minds and their moods a lot. They tend to need a lot of encouragement; It is easy for their spark to fizzle out.


Rocks aren't so obvious as Stars. They have a quiet power that takes more time to recognize and fully appreciate. Rocks are awesome because they are steady, firm, solid, resolute, tough, unshakable, dependable, faithful.


Rocks are a refuge
and might seem to be more ‘adult-like’
compared to a child-like Star.


Rocks are loyal, even-keeled, clear-headed doers as opposed to their dreamy Star counterparts. During stormy times, they stay on course and do not waver. In many ways, they are not ‘fragile’ in the way that Stars tend to be.

Although not bubbly and exuberant, Rocks are not cold –their warmth, like everything else, simply isn’t so apparent at first-blush as it is with a Star. They can certainly be passionate and enthusiastic about various topics, hobbies, etc. –but these emotions (like all others) tend to be presented in a very ‘focused energy’ intense sort of way (this is how Rocks can seem so “serious”) compared to the ‘diffuse energy’ of Stars (think ‘bouncy Tigger’ and that hits on the concept).


Rocks have a unique ability
to make others feel safe, secure,
protected and, therefore, at ease.


Based on just these introductory thoughts, what do you think? Are you a Star or a Rock? Do you agree with the definitions? What would you add/subtract? 

Extra SideNote: the power combination of one of each equals a RockStar, which is pretty cool stuff in romantic relationships, work relationships, and friendships. At least, that has been my experience. More on that idea in the future!

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Laura Bennett

Laura Bennett

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